More Information About 5 Relationship Faux Pas

Relationships are tricky and take work to maintain. Though it’s natural to blame the other person, typically both parties have contributed to a relationship’s demise. Because it’s often hard to stay objective after—or during— massive heartbreak, here are five missteps you may have made (we certainly have):

Criticizing your partner: There’s a difference between airing a grievance and attacking his character—fighting dirty is never a good idea.

Avoiding confrontation: You’re not helping your relationship by avoiding the issues.Starting up the conversation may seem scary and leave you vulnerable, but it will be worth it in the end.

Ignoring the distance: We all get caught up in our own lives sometimes and can forget to pay special attention to our loved ones. Planning a fun night in to catch up can make all the difference.

Keeping score: A little competition is okay, unless you’re arguing, then it’s dangerous. Instead of trying to prove that you’re right and he’s wrong, try to collaborate. By leaving the need to win on the tennis court, you might both get what you want.

Lashing out: According to Dr. John Gottman, cofounder of the Gottman Institute, couples who have five positive interactions to every one negative are happy and fulfilled. Before you lash out, do the math.

Know More About Some Things He’s Thinking But Won’t Say Out Loud

1. “Your family really scares me.” Either the constant contact, or the gruff father, or the crazy sister… there’s some aspect here that he will never name (you don’t mess with a girl’s family) but it scares the sh*t out of him.

2. “I’m not sure how good I am at that sex thing you seem to enjoy.” Whatever “that thing” may be, however much you’ve encouraged or praised it, he’s still not sure if he’s a pro at it and feels a little self-conscious each time. The female body is an elaborate and wondrous thing.

3. “I’m not 100% where I want to be professionally.” Who is, really? Even if he’s wildly successful he’ll still have ambition to continue to climb whatever ladder he’s on. The more a man says how amazing he’s doing professionally, the more insecure he usually is about it.

4. “I have a body complex as well.” He sucks in his gut every time he takes off his shirt and hopes you don’t notice.

5. “I have occasional doubts about us.” No one in a relationship is 100 percent sure all of the time. Mostly he’s head over heels for you, but once in a blue moon he does a double take while contemplating your future.

6. “Playing with my friend’s kid completely triggers my paternal instinct.” He doesn’t want to freak you out, and he’s not necessarily ready for kids—but damn is that baby cute.

7. “He’s scared to say ‘I love you’ first, too.” Unless you get him drunk. Then he might just blurt out “I love you,” on the third date. True story.

8. “I am completely in love with your [insert strange trait here].” There is one thing about you that every time he sees or hears it he softens a little bit inside. But that’s his secret, and maybe it’s okay that he keeps that particular treasured act to himself.

Tips to Survive a Breakup with a Non-Boyfriend

Boy meets girl. The chemistry is undeniable—you think about him constantly, and every text sends your heart aflutter. But that’s where the classic love story ends. For whatever reason, it doesn’t work out. Things are over, even though you were never officially a couple.

Breaking up with a guy you cared about, even if he wasn’t technically yours, can be every bit as painful as the end of a committed relationship. Your friends tell you to brush it off and move on. Denying yourself time to process what happened, however, can leave you stuck in that terrible can’t-move-on hole. Here’s what to do:

Cry like it’s a breakup, because it is. So what if you weren’t Facebook official? You put time and feelings into this man, so give yourself time to wallow. It definitely helps to binge-watch your favorite TV show and splurge for the good takeout.

Delete his number. And his voicemails. And clear your texts. Reading back through old conversations, trying to figure out what went wrong, is pointless. Things didn’t end because of a single text message you sent a week ago.

Rejoice that you don’t have to change your relationship status to single. Cue your Facebook friends messaging you their apologies, asking what happened, and you having to repeat your story on your feed to everyone to see. There’s always a silver lining.

Treat him like an ex. Just because you haven’t had a long, committed relationship doesn’t mean you have to be okay with seeing him. Take some space.

Don’t feel pressured to go out that night. Yes, a good red wine is magical. But one glass too many and eight incoherent texts about why you love him will seem like a great idea. Diving headfirst back into the dating pool is not healthy. Instead, take time to hang out with your friends and focus on yourself.

Beautify. There’s definitely something to getting a mani/pedi or a blowout to really get your game back.

Call your mom. Or Dad, or that aunt who really gets you. They’re mind-blowingly great at putting things in perspective. Bonus: They’ll be happy to remind you how awesome you are.

Make a list of why he wasn’t right for you. You’ll be surprised at how long it will be.

Focus on what you deserve, not why he didn’t work out. Never introduced you to his friends? The right guy will want to show you off.

Accept that he wasn’t Mr. Right. Staring at the phone, wishing his name would flash across your screen, you felt like he was the one. It seemed like destiny. But it wasn’t. How do we know? Because if he were The One, he would never have let you go.

Some Real Reasons He Broke Up with You

One minute you’re happy and in love, the next he’s delivering the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech. Why? We have the scoop on the real reasons most couples split up.

You Want Different Things
Initially you two were just hooking up but then you developed crushes and moved into a serious relationship. One of you may want things to progress further while the other is still just into late Friday night booty calls. The guy may want to be married in a year while you’re happy having fun. Or he may still be getting over his ex while you want to move in to his place. Whatever the circumstance, it’s not that the chemistry isn’t right, it’s just that you want different things out of the relationship.
You’re At Different Points in Life
Often women think dating an older man is a good thing. It can also be a recipe for disaster. The older guy may be already settled down while the woman in her mid-twenties might still be figuring out who she is, what she wants to do for a living, where she wants to live long-term, and more. An age difference may be one reason you’re at different points not just in life but in your relationship–sometimes older men may have already experienced the things you haven’t yet done and they may not want to do it again, like kids, getting married, or moving for a job. If you’re just at different points and your paths don’t appear to connect, you will eventually split.

One Person Is Moving Too Fast
I’ve been in situations where I was in love with a woman but she moved way too fast and it scared me. Like, slowly move into my apartment without asking me after two months of dating. If we had better communication and talked things through we could have determined the right time for both of us to take that next step. But we didn’t, so we broke up. I know I’m not alone here–in any relationship there is always going to be one person who wants to move forward more rapidly than the other. If that speed is radically different for one person, the other may get scared and call it quits.

Lack of Trust
There are a variety of reasons lack of trust in a relationship may develop. One person may do something to break that trust, like tell a whopper of a lie or cheat. Or one person may just carry some trauma from past relationships where that sort of thing happened. In either case it can be a bit like dating a wounded deer, where you want to get close and be comforting but the dynamic is too tenuous and you can’t really relax with the other person. Once a trust is broken or never fully develops, it’s hard to repair. Some people don’t want to put in the work that is required to repair trust, so they leave.

An Acutal Issue
Sometimes, when you honestly reflect back on what was going on pre-break-up, it can be pretty clear what happened. You two were fighting a lot, either about one big recurring issue or several smaller issues. It got heated at times. You both said things that were incredibly hurtful (and that you did sorta mean). Hopefully things didn’t get to the point of being verbally or physically abusive, but if they did then it’s a good thing you’re not together anymore.

The Emotional Affair
No one physically cheated, but one of you had an emotional affair. That’s when one or both of you started flirting with someone else, bonding with them over long coffees at work or while running together at the gym, and eventually they became one of, if not the, primary relationship in your life. Even if he was still spending a lot of time with you and the sex was still fantastic, if his mind is constantly on another woman, that does not bode well for the two of you. Don’t be surprised if he suddenly has a new relationship not too long after the break-up. This is a clear sign he had been emotionally cheating.

Your Values Don’t Align
Shortly after I finished working on the Obama campaign I met a lovely lady and she turned out to be a Republican. As die-hard liberal as I may be, she was just as far right-leaning. We knew not to talk politics because we would end up in a fight. We made it six months before the simple fact that we have drastically different values became too hard to ignore. Yes, there were other issues in the mix, but in my heart I always knew I couldn’t settle down with her long-term because we didn’t see eye-to-eye on a variety of issues. Which leads to the big one:

You’re Not the One
If you’re reading this and you’re currently heart-broken I empathize. I’ve been on both sides of this talk, either not being “the one” for someone else or having to tell someone that I didn’t see myself marrying them and settling down. Frankly, if you’re in a long-term committed relationship and someone sits you down and says they realize they “should” want to be with you forever because you’re so great, but that in their gut they know that’s not true for them, count it as a blessing. It’s better to hear that earlier rather than later. Even if nothing is wrong in the relationship, that’s an indicator that there is nothing so right that he would want to be with you forever. And someone else will, I promise.

Shuold Know Why Men Break Up With You Around the Holidays

According to NBC, data researchers discovered there are two times of the year when break-ups most frequently occur: March and right around the holidays. This period of uncoupling has even garnered a holiday-themed name: the turkey drop. It’s when you’re in a relationship, happily going about your Christmas shopping, and then right before you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner your boyfriend says, “We need to talk.” So why do men typically break up with women around the holidays?

He’s Been Putting it Off

Things have been slowly going sour for a while now, and he’s been meaning to end the relationship. There just hasn’t been the right time (or so he thinks). But holidays have a way of magnifying what’s already on the mind, so all of the little reasons that came up about why he might end it suddenly seem quite big. Thus, there’s no time like the present (even though it’s a horrible present to give).

He Doesn’t Want You to Meet His ParentsYou start talking about the holidays and whether you should go to your respective homes, his, or yours. He may not have ever thought about you meeting his folks before but now it’s not an “if” sort of question, it’s a “when.” Even if you go your respective ways this holiday, he knows the next time his mom comes to town to visit he won’t be able to avoid you two meeting.

Meeting one another’s parents makes a relationship very real. It’s one thing to date someone for a few months, but once they’ve met your dad you’re in for a lifetime of “How’s that girl I met that holiday all those years ago?” Instead of risking a break-up post-family get-together he makes the judgment call that you won’t stand the sands of time and it would be better for you not to meet his parents at all.

He Doesn’t Want You to Meet his FriendsOne of the funnest parts of the holiday season is all the parties. Parties your friends throw, the office holiday party where his boss gets drunk and sings karaoke, and on and on. If you two have been dating a few months it would be weird for him to go to a bunch of parties and not invite you. One or two he might get away with, but a whole season of parties? No way can he pull that off.

In the same vein of him not wanting you to meet his parents, he may chose to end things around the holiday season so he doesn’t have to bring you to all the parties where you would be introduced to his friends and co-workers. That way, Sam from Accounting isn’t asking about you six months from now and he won’t have to have the awkward “I broke up with the woman I brought to the holiday party” talk.

He Doesn’t Want To Get You a GiftThis is a pretty selfish reason, in the midst of a selfish list: he doesn’t want to spend the money or sentiment on getting you a holiday present. A good guy, a guy who really wants to be with his girlfriend, starts thinking about a holiday gift at least a month in advance. The guy who is already contemplating a break-up may have realized that he will need to spend some money and that could deter him from putting off the inevitable.

More likely he doesn’t want to muster the energy on a sentiment that isn’t real. A thoughtful gift implies that you’re always on his mind and he cares deeply for you. If that’s not the case for him it will be highlighted during gift-giving season.

He Wants A New Year with a New Girl

The final holiday during this season is one of my personal favorites: New Year’s Eve. But he may not want to ring in the new year with someone he doesn’t want to date that year. Don’t be surprised if he takes the changing of the calendar as a chance to start fresh by changing his relationship status.

None of these reasons are particularly good ones, and I’m not defending the guy who dumps a woman a week before Thanksgiving. At the same time, I can understand if someone wants to avoid all the introductions to a woman he’s not serious about, in order to escape Uncle Jack coming over for Chanukah, balking and saying, “But you guys seemed so happy during Thanksgiving!” In fact, there’s an argument to be made that it might be better to rip the bandaid off now so you two each have solo recovery time you can spend in the company of family and friends. The better question here may not be “Why does he do it around the holidays?” but “Just how long has he been thinking about breaking up with you?”

Know More How You Should Break Up with Him

This morning, I woke up mad at my girlfriend. I did something many people tend to do: mistake a bad dream I was having for reality. In this case, I dreamt my girlfriend and I were on a trip to Italy and she turned to me upon arrival and abruptly said, “You know what? I fell out of love with you. We’re over.” When I woke up, I turned to her and said, “That is no way to end things with someone.” What exactly is a good way? Here are a few tips on how to manage a breakup.

Do It at His Place

The location of a breakup is key. Assuming you’ve been dating for more than six weeks, an in-person breakup is kinder and (dare I say?) necessary. The gent deserves the chance to look you in the eye and see that you aren’t being casual about ending things.

Now, he may have fallen for you. So you can’t assume he will handle the breakup without an argument, a scene, or even tears. Don’t make him cry at a restaurant. You wouldn’t like that, so don’t do that to him. Leave the public locations alone. You could have him over to your place, but that has a feeling equivalent to being called into the boss’s office to be fired.

The rule of thumb for breaking up is: If you’re the one doing the ending, you should do it at the other person’s place so you can leave immediately after. Then the other party can stay at home and wallow in private or immediately go out and do whatever it is they habitually do when hurt.

Timing Is Everything

Don’t do it right after a family member of his dies. Don’t do it after he gets fired. Don’t do it right after he tells you he loves you for the first time. There is a lengthy list of “don’ts,” so maybe the easiest thing is for me to just give you the best time to do it: early evening (so that if he wants to get a drink after, it’s socially acceptable and his friends will be out), while sober (no drunk arguments please), and in between relationship milestones/major life crises. In other words, you’re not pouring salt on any existing wounds he’s struggling with, he’s in a clear state of mind, and it’s not a stressful or busy time of day.

Don’t EVER Say “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Don’t pull that old “It’s not you, it’s me” garbage. If there’s a specific reason you’re breaking up, state it clearly and don’t waver. Saying you can’t trust him because he cheated or has been seeing someone else are all very understandable reasons to break up. State your reason and be done with it.

If the reason you’re breaking up is more vague, here’s a message that is clear enough and has been very well-received by guys: “I hate to say this, but I need to do my own thing right now. It’s just not the right time for me to commit to a relationship.” This is not “you’re not right for me” or “I can’t be with you because I’m a mess.” It’s a timing issue and you not wanting to be in a relationship. A guy gets that.

Here’s another, more verbose good one, especially if you’re dating someone else instead: “Since we both feel it’s important to be honest, I want to let you know I met someone last month before we started seeing each other regularly. I think you’re wonderful and special, but timing just wasn’t on our side. Your only flaw is that I met him first.” I have a friend who uses a variation of this line and has gotten the best possible responses from men. It’s saying you value him as a person and his qualities but that the timing wasn’t meant to be.

You can’t take responsibility for another person’s reactions when you break up, but you can try to let him down as gently as possible. Good luck!

Some Cutest DIY Valentine’s Day Gifts On Pinterest

No one actually wants a stuffed puppy holding an “I Love You” pillow heart for Valentine’s Day, so why not create a sweet DIY gift bae really will love? These unique pressies are Pinterest-approved and super cute. Guaranteed V-Day victory!

1. Sweets for your sweet
This yummy gift is super cheap and easy to make, but still totally thoughtful. Buy your S.O. their favorite candy and decorate each bag with a funny pun. You can personalize the box with pics of the two of you and lots of glitter.

2. Cutesy candy jar
This DIY is perfect for the holiday of hearts, but you don’t have to deck your candy jar in Xs and Os. If that’s not bae’s ~thing~, paint your candy machine in their favorite colors.
3. S’mores for your BFFs
Sending love to a whole crew? Grab a bag of heart-shaped mega mallows, some graham crackers, and mini chocolate bars to make cute s’mores kits. Include a ~love~ note inside with the date and time if your Galentine’s Day bonfire/marshmallow roast.

4. Secret mission
Plan a V-Day scavenger hunt with clever clues and a fun prize or activity at the end.
5. Lottery bouquet
Stumped on what to get your brand-new bae? Can’t go wrong with a handmade lotto ticket bouquet. Everyone loves money!
6. 14 days of treats
Starting on February 1, give your S.O. a tasty treat or cheap little present every day. It’s a sweet way to draw out the Love Day fun.
7. 52 things I love about you
YOUR HAIR, YOUR EYES, YOUR OLD LEVI’S, WHEN WE KISS I’M HYPNOTIZED! Miley had the right idea – telling bae what you love about them is always a win. Write one trait you adore on each card, then bind them with rings into a little book.
8. Themed box
Pick your ride-or-die’s favorite color, movie, country, or whatever and fill a box full of on-theme trinkets.

9. Love lyrics
Fill a mason jar with all the song lines that remind you of your S.O. They’ll love the romantic gesture, even if you don’t agree on music.

10. Scrapbook
Movie tickets, concert stubs, cute notes, and photos are the perfect love tokens to fill a book with. Even if you’re not the craftiest fish in the sea, bae will appreciate that you kept so many mementos.

Top 10 Cheap Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Trying to get a good seat at the movies on Valentine’s Day is like a toned-down version of The Hunger Games – you fight a theater full of other people for the best spot and if you fail, your romantic night is basically doomed. Skip the battle and try a totally unique (and cheap!) date instead.

1. Indoor Picnic.
If it’s way too cold to actually go outside where you live, throw down a blanket and have a romantic picnic in your dorm room or living room. Make cute little finger sandwiches, cookies or brownies, and pick up your fave chips, then pack them up in a basket. If you want a bigger dose of nature, just flip on NatGeo and listen to the sounds of birds chirping. It’s all the fun of an actual picnic, minus the bugs crawling in your food.
2. Sweet Treat.
Get your date on Taylor Swift style – spend your night making some sweet treats in the kitchen. You and bae can both pick your favorite desserts and make them together. Or go out to a restaurant and order a crazy dessert. It’s a totally fun date that will most likely end with chocolate – what could be better?
3. Spa Night.
This is a killer date idea that comes for free. Raid your kitchen for supplies to make DIY face masks or bring out your nail kit for an at-home mani/pedi. Then watch your favorite rom com while you wait for the masks to dry. Bonus: face masks make for some adorable seflies!
4. Netflix Dinner.
Is your favorite Saturday night activity catching up on your favorite shows with bae? Order takeout from your favorite restaurant and try to finish a new mini-series in one night – you might have to stay up late, but that’s part of the fun! Order cheeseburgers, Chinese food, pizza, or any other food you love. And don’t forget dessert! Get donuts from your favorite bakery or your go-to ice cream flavor from the grocery store. You’ll spend the whole night pigging out and cuddling – basically a dream come true.
5. Game Night.
Planning a super romantic Valentine’s Day date can be v stressful, especially if you just started dating. A game night is a totally chill date that’ll take the pressure off. Hit up an arcade and bond with your S.O. over an old-school game of Frogger or a Dance Dance Revolution battle. Then at the end of the night, you can use your tickets to buy each other a funny V-Day gift.

6. Snow Date.
Snow can be a major pain when you’re trying to get to school, but it actually makes for a pretty great date. If it happens to be snowing on Feb. 14th, head outside and channel your inner Elsa. Build a snowman, have a snowball fight, or go sledding. And be sure to warm up with cuddles and lots of hot cocoa.

7. Play Games.
February weather isn’t always the most romantic, so if you’d rather stay in on V-Day, channel your inner kids and play your fave childhood boardgames, or try a super hard puzzle. It’s a great way to laugh and bond without just watching a movie like usual.
8. Ghost Tour.
If you and bae are into ~creepy~ stuff, go online and see if a town near you has a walking ghost tour. Most cities have them for cheap and they’re super fun. A guide (usually dressed in a Victorian costume) will take you to the spookiest spots in town and tell you scary stories.
9. Planetarium.
There’s nothing more romantic than laying out looking the stars, but in the winter that’s not really doable. Instead, go to a planetarium for a night-time view of the sky sans the frigid temps.
10. Burritos With Bae.
If you don’t want your little brother interrupting your V-Day date, but don’t have the cash for a ~fancy~ dinner (or if you just want to keep it cas), why not hit up your fave fast food joint? You know the food will be good, and it can be fun to split some of your fave treats in a low-key environment. Go to Chipotle for burritos, and split some guac and chips. Or hit up McDonald’s for fries and McFlurries!

Important Things Never to Say to a Single Girl on Valentine’s Day

1. “Don’t worry, you’ll be in a relationship next year!”
Unless you have a crystal ball and some seriously powerful psychic abilities, you have no idea whether that’ll be true or not. But either way, it doesn’t matter. A relationship isn’t the key to happiness. It’s possible to be single and have an amazing V-Day (whether you’re Netflix and chilling solo or driving around with the radio blasting with your friends), and it’s equally possible to have a V-Day that kind of sucks even if you’re in a relationship (just check out real girls’ V-Day disasters here).
2. “I hate Valentine’s Day, too!”
Um, who said I hate Valentine’s Day just because I’m single? The holiday is about love in all its forms — love for yourself, your family, and your friends. That’s totally awesome. Plus, it gives me an excuse to break out anything pink with hearts all over it.

3. “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”
Why? What are YOU doing?

4. “Oh, so you’re going to spend V-Day watching The Notebook and crying into your popcorn, right?”
Why would you assume I’m going to see a cliche romantic movie on February 14th? Anyway, if I do end up sobbing over a Nicholas Sparks movie on Valentine’s Day, it’s because his movies are meticulously calculated to produce water works and not for any other reason. And anyway, popcorn tastes better with a lil salt, so bring on the tears.

5. “Galentine’s Day is so lame.”
My favorite Valentine’s Day ever involved getting glammed up with my best friend in red and pink dresses, chowing down on yummy Italian food, and dancing to all our favorite songs together. Lame? Not at all. It was actually more fun than spending the holiday with my boyfriend the year before — picking out the perfect card and gift was surprisingly stressful, and spending the day with him felt like any other day, just with a load of extra pressure added on top.

6. “It’s just a Hallmark holiday.”
You’re right, it’s not a national or religious holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. But it’s still fun to celebrate, if you choose.

7. “You probably wear all-black on Valentine’s Day, right?”
I might! I own a lot of black clothing. But since the holiday is the perfect occasion to bust out my girliest pink clothes and lipstick, I might do that, too. My relationship status has nothing to do with how I dress.

8. “Just wait ’till you’re in a relationship — then you’ll see what a big deal Valentine’s Day is.”
Possibly. But even though I’m not currently dating anyone, I can still, y’know, use my imagination and empathize that V-Day is extra-special to people who are in relationships.

9. “Who’s your Valentine?”
My best friend. My cat. Troy Bolton. This is a dumb question. Next!

10. “Aren’t you lonely?”
No. Aren’t you?

11. “You must be so bitter this time of year.”
Only a bitter person would say something like that.
12. “Soooo… do you like anyone?”
Maybe! And it’s none of your business on Valentine’s Day or any other day.

13. “Did anyone send you a candy-gram?”
Is this just your way of humble-bragging about how many candy-grams you received? Congrats, I don’t care.

14. “I got so many candy-grams I can’t even carry them all to my locker.”
Poor you! I’d offer to help carry some, but my hands are full playing the world’s tiniest violin.

Some Reasons Being Single on Valentine’s Day Is Actually the Best

When February 14th comes along, if you don’t have a significant other, you usually feel the pressure to find a date, because nothing’s worse than spending Valentine’s Day alone, right?WRONG. As awesome as it is to have an SO on the most romantic day of the year to do all the exceptionally romantic things couples do, there are definitely many, many advantages to being single too.

1. Your wallet won’t suffer for love. You know that if you were in a relationship with someone you really cared about, the money you’d end up spending on a romantic dinner and gift would totally be worth it (despite your aching bank account). Still, you can’t help being grateful you don’t have to spend all that money and can save it for something you really want, like concert tix to YOUR fave band.

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2. You don’t have to stress about planning some massively romantic gesture for bae. The truth is, trying to plan an elaborate date that blows all your other dates out of the water is really hard — not to mention, intimidating. How do you even know for sure they’ll like what you’ve planned? And why is it so expensive?

3. You won’t be disappointed when, inevitably, your big, special date isn’t all that romantic irl. Everyone sets their expectations waaaaay to high for their Valentine’s Day and as a result, end up trying to force the romance and emotion, which just ends up feeling awkward and, well, forced. The date always ends up being extraordinarily boring. But since you’re single, you don’t have to worry about feeling underwhelmed and then having to hide your disappointment so bae’s feelings won’t be hurt.

4. All your fave candy will be on sale, and you can buy as much as you want for yourself. If you have a significant other on February 14th, when all the Valentine’s Day candies go on sale, you’ll feel like you shouldn’t buy any of it for yourself because that’s your SO’s job on this special day. Whereas if you’re single, Valentine’s Day candy is just plain old chocolate that’s on sale and you don’t feel any type of way about buying a bunch of it for a fraction of the price.

5. And you don’t have to share your Valentine’s Day candy with anyone. Since you don’t have an SO, you don’t have to share your candy, or let bae eat the caramel peanut butter chocolate you really wanted from your heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates just because it’s Valentine’s Day.

6. You can do WHATEVER you want to do. When you’re single, February 14th is just another day of the year. You don’t have any obligation to go to some fancy-schmancy restaurant while trying extra hard to be romantic. You can just spend the day doing what you love to do: binge-watching Netflix while laying comfortably in bed.

7. And you’ll have more free time. Let’s be honest: Valentine’s Day isn’t a one day commitment. With all the extra effort you have to put into getting the perfect gift and planning the perfect love-dovey night out with bae, you can end up spending weeks planning for the big day. But if you don’t have a bae, you can spend all that time doing something else, like writing the next bestselling YA novel!

8. You can watch whatever movie YOU want. You won’t have to go through the hassle of seeing if bae likes the movie you want to watch and, if not, what it is they’d rather watch instead. The back and forth of picking a movie is totally eliminated and you can just cuddle under your favorite blanket and watch The Notebook like you’ve been planning on doing all day without having to worry about anybody else.

9. You can have a low-pressure date with your girls. There’s no point in getting yourself down about not having a date on Valentine’s Day when you have other single friends who you can have an awesome Galentine’s day with. We promise, sharing a pepperoni pizza with your besties while you bake brownies and binge-watch Pretty Little Liars will be just as awesome as any elaborate, high-pressure Valentine’s Day date you would have had if you had an SO.
10. You can meet someone new ON Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air! What better time to start a brand new romance with the guy standing in front of you at Starbucks, or the cute cashier at your fave bookstore? Valentine’s Day is the perf excuse to be extra bold and ask them for their number, or to chat up your crush at a party. Not knowing what amazingness the day will bring is just as exciting as any romantic date.