According to NBC, data researchers discovered there are two times of the year when break-ups most frequently occur: March and right around the holidays. This period of uncoupling has even garnered a holiday-themed name: the turkey drop. It’s when you’re in a relationship, happily going about your Christmas shopping, and then right before you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner your boyfriend says, “We need to talk.” So why do men typically break up with women around the holidays?
He’s Been Putting it Off
Things have been slowly going sour for a while now, and he’s been meaning to end the relationship. There just hasn’t been the right time (or so he thinks). But holidays have a way of magnifying what’s already on the mind, so all of the little reasons that came up about why he might end it suddenly seem quite big. Thus, there’s no time like the present (even though it’s a horrible present to give).
He Doesn’t Want You to Meet His ParentsYou start talking about the holidays and whether you should go to your respective homes, his, or yours. He may not have ever thought about you meeting his folks before but now it’s not an “if” sort of question, it’s a “when.” Even if you go your respective ways this holiday, he knows the next time his mom comes to town to visit he won’t be able to avoid you two meeting.
Meeting one another’s parents makes a relationship very real. It’s one thing to date someone for a few months, but once they’ve met your dad you’re in for a lifetime of “How’s that girl I met that holiday all those years ago?” Instead of risking a break-up post-family get-together he makes the judgment call that you won’t stand the sands of time and it would be better for you not to meet his parents at all.
He Doesn’t Want You to Meet his FriendsOne of the funnest parts of the holiday season is all the parties. Parties your friends throw, the office holiday party where his boss gets drunk and sings karaoke, and on and on. If you two have been dating a few months it would be weird for him to go to a bunch of parties and not invite you. One or two he might get away with, but a whole season of parties? No way can he pull that off.
In the same vein of him not wanting you to meet his parents, he may chose to end things around the holiday season so he doesn’t have to bring you to all the parties where you would be introduced to his friends and co-workers. That way, Sam from Accounting isn’t asking about you six months from now and he won’t have to have the awkward “I broke up with the woman I brought to the holiday party” talk.
He Doesn’t Want To Get You a GiftThis is a pretty selfish reason, in the midst of a selfish list: he doesn’t want to spend the money or sentiment on getting you a holiday present. A good guy, a guy who really wants to be with his girlfriend, starts thinking about a holiday gift at least a month in advance. The guy who is already contemplating a break-up may have realized that he will need to spend some money and that could deter him from putting off the inevitable.
More likely he doesn’t want to muster the energy on a sentiment that isn’t real. A thoughtful gift implies that you’re always on his mind and he cares deeply for you. If that’s not the case for him it will be highlighted during gift-giving season.
He Wants A New Year with a New Girl
The final holiday during this season is one of my personal favorites: New Year’s Eve. But he may not want to ring in the new year with someone he doesn’t want to date that year. Don’t be surprised if he takes the changing of the calendar as a chance to start fresh by changing his relationship status.
None of these reasons are particularly good ones, and I’m not defending the guy who dumps a woman a week before Thanksgiving. At the same time, I can understand if someone wants to avoid all the introductions to a woman he’s not serious about, in order to escape Uncle Jack coming over for Chanukah, balking and saying, “But you guys seemed so happy during Thanksgiving!” In fact, there’s an argument to be made that it might be better to rip the bandaid off now so you two each have solo recovery time you can spend in the company of family and friends. The better question here may not be “Why does he do it around the holidays?” but “Just how long has he been thinking about breaking up with you?”